- He tries to micromanage my work without understanding the nuances of the work
- He is heavily biased to those who worship him and tend to doubt those who don’t
- He wants me to work magic but can’t stand any display of brilliance in the process, as that means I outshine him
- He approaches things in a subjective fashion and tries to beat me down with a logic so derived (or the lack of it!)
- He takes credit for my ideas blatantly
These are just samples of various negative thoughts that cloud my mind all through the day. And all are pointed towards one human being at work, my Boss!
These thoughts constantly occupy my mind, whether I am at work or at home.
Now, there’s a side effect to this. Every now and then, these passive thoughts reflect in an impulsive action of displeased magnitude.
I retort back to his comments strongly, in an open forum. Or I pick up a nasty argument to vent all the accumulated negative feelings. Or I ignore the need to be open in communicating critical issues.
Slowly, these daily chores of overflowing negativity and periodic display of resentment were leading to a ruptured relationship! For even others in the company to clearly sense it.
That’s when I realized another way to tackle this cycle of negativity and the resultant strong/impulsive action. Because, every incremental rebellious action leads to erosion of relationship quotient. One day, it is sure to hit the bottom and that will be a supernova event in all ugliness I can imagine.
Here’s what I did (& in fact continue doing till this day, for 5 years in a row)
- I quickly replaced the 5 kg dumbbells that I use in my daily morning workout with a brand new 7kg one!
- I increased the reps from 15 to 25!
- I did 3 sets of workout for a muscle group, from the earlier 2!
- And lastly, consciously associating all the negativity engulfing me towards pumping up the muscles to the point where it gets worked up thoroughly.
A regular one hour workout regime turned into good 1 hour 45 mins. And all the daily anger got redirected promptly to muscle toning.
By the end of each day’s workout, I am drenched with sweat (& that mild satisfying pain caused by those sore muscles) while the negativity gets successfully vented out for that day.
So no reason to display negative behavior or resentment at work on that very day.
And for the subsequent day, the process repeats!
The relationship is kept intact! No conflicting action from anyone is ever going to induce me to do anything malicious in return. No love but yet no hatred too.
And the by-product of this is a strong healthy muscle (read overall health)!
It can be a punching bag or even playing your favorite musical instrument at a good stretch, each for everyone according to one’s preference. But the net result is conversion of negative energy to positive energy and eventually lead a life of intact relationship & camaraderie.
You may not like someone, not like their actions, not like their intentions, not like their attitude, etc., But that doesn’t mean you burn the bridge with them.
You can be like the water droplet that floats on the Lotus leaf – totally unaffected or unattached to the surface but still co-exist.
Often times, not having a screwed up relationship with anyone is as good as having some good quality relationship with few.
What’s your thoughts on this? Do you have a better idea to divert your anger on someone (or even something) by using any such techniques?